Masterpiece Art Gallery: Ecco Monkey Jesus?

Maybe...

Legs N' Butts

It was a crisp autumn evening and we had just shut down the receiving dock when some fool in Jeep Cherokee rolled up with what he claimed were "dozens of mannequins". Well, as you should well know, mannequins are like Junk Store gold, so we made a rare exception and re-opened the sorting room.

These weren't mannequins... they were replica-bodies made for military training exercises. And they weren't full bodies, just a bunch of legs and butts. And they were made to replicate the authentic weight of a real body, so each set of butt cheeks and thighs weight about 75 pounds each. They each had these long, dangerous bolts protruding from them.
I don't know how much experience you have piling-up body parts (none, I hope), but these things don't stack easy.

So now, and every morning since that fateful afternoon, I have to haul a half-ton of legs and butts out onto the sidewalk. Rain or shine. Swell.

pound foolish

Those wacky Europeans and Englishmen sure have some silly, colorful money. It looks like it's from some board game or something. It's hard to believe that their currency is worth almost double ours.

Wait a minute...
I'm rich!

Judge Dreads

People often ask "What is the craziest donation you have ever seen?", and it can be hard to answer. 

I guess it all depends on what you think is crazy: Sex toys, drugs, domestic animal furs, porno polaroids, the tortured journal of some bulimic teenager, machetes, live ammo, an apple juice bottle filled with gasoline... there is a lot to consider.

An easy answer is "a human skull". An it's true, we once got a real human skull. For real. But that story is tempered by the fact that the donor acknowledged that this is a very crazy donation and pretty much donated it for that reason. Also, I wasn't there when it got donated (although I got to see it the next day), and I didn't get a picture of it before The Jammer took it home. I heard he later traded it to one of his punk roommates for some magic beans or something stupid. Without a good photo or the item itself, people tend to think the human skull story is bunk.

I, personally, think this is at the top of the crazy donation pile. Not the item itself, but more the whole situation of some old hag saving all of her burnt matches and then demanding a donation tax-receipt so she can deduct it from her income taxes.

But...

When that inevitable "craziest donation" question does come up, the go-to answer is

"a stinky jar of human dreadlocks"

It's simple, it's fucked-up, it really isn't the type of thing that should be given to a thrift store, it's stinky, and we have the jar right there on the shelf up on the wall so we can toss it over to whomever asked the question. You wanna see a crazy donation, well chew on this...

I like how these are clearly AWGWD (Another White Guy With Dreads) dreads. Also, it is noteworthy that the Dread Jar also ushered in the still-current era of hoarding and displaying donations in jars.

You wanna take it up a notch. OK...
Boom! Another dreadlock donation:

Completely independent from the original "Dreads-in-a-jar" donation. These seem to be authentic, Afro-American dreadlocks. Still stinky, though.

So there you have it.