Foam Fingaz

For a minute we saved all the interesting 'Foam Fingers' that got donated, but we got bored after 5 of them and went back to hoarding pencil sharpeners and vintage markers.

Time for Prescription Drugs

A pretty solid collection of pharmo-promo clocks.

Promotional Sperm Comes Again

Another addition to a Donation Hall of Fame recognized collection (Best Promo Item): the squishy stress ball foam novelty sperms. A whole box of 'em.
We got these straight from the squishy foam promo novelty item factory. They were leftovers from some other job and they didn't have some company logo printed on them yet.

Because nothing plants seeds about your company, product, or event like a humorously oversized spermatozoa.

See for yourself:

Also, jiz, cum, and ejaculate.

Space: 1999 - The Moistener(?)

The past never seemed so futuristic.

No idea what this thing is supposed to be. It's like a ink pad without the ink. I guess it is a promo moistener. That makes no sense.

Drug Magnetism

Zithromax... Redux... Medipren... Galan... Lodine... Ortho Tri-Cyclen... and my current favorite, K-Dur 20.

We love magnets, we love pharmaceuticals, we love promotional items. Ta-daa.

Erectile Dysfunction

If this blog post gives you an erection lasting more than four hours, seek immediate medical attention.

If you need help determining how long four hours is, seek immediate Viagra promotional clock, which has a four hour duration marked out in translucent blue. 

If you find yourself still unsatisfied even after viewing the above Viagra promo clock image, seek these other excellent pharmo-freebies: the Viagra / Major League Baseball plastic mug ("I take Viagra." -Rafael Palmeiro) and a bonus Viagra pen.

High Gravity

Some high gravity fashion choices from our pals over at Steel Reserve.
There's also a Sparks T-shirt under the hat.

Sparks Swag

An exceptional promotional product representing a quality beverage product,

It's the Sparks plasma-lamp.

Sparks with Caffeine

On the outside chance that you have actually been checking this blog over the past month or so, only to dejectedly realize again and again that I haven't create any new posts, I owe you an apology. I've been feeling really slack in the energy department lately. And surprisingly sober.

But all that is about to change...

Awww yeah! It's a Sparks promo-pack from the Steel Brewing label of MillerCoors LLC!

Packed with a sealed can each of Sparks, Sparks Lite, and Sparks Plus, plus a bonus mini-can and, yeah, let's include a 24-ounce Steel Reserve 211 while were at it.

What's even better, these pre-date the late 2008 decision to take the caffeine and taurine out of Sparks.  They don't make 'em like this anymore.

More great posts featuring memorable Steel Brewing company promo items coming this week, so keep it bookmarked, chump.

More Sperms

While not quite on par with the Seed Of Chucky promo-foam-spermatozoa, these little fellas are still a welcome donation any day. I especially like the Golden Sperm (new in packaging).

V.S.O.P. Have a sip ta dis.

When our pals over at EcoHaul stop by after hours to drop four palettes of tiny bottles and stoppers on us, and then surprise us with box upon box of promotional materials from various malt liquor manufacturers (more posts on these later), you just know everything is going to be all right.

I am particularly thrilled by the cases of motion-sensor activated rapping malt liquor cans of V.S.O.P. Blend*. The slightest motion and out pumps my boy Snoop Dogg kickin out the chorus some obscure, but downright funky hip hop track.

I even made a little video of it...

When I initially did some online research about this amazing song and beverage, all I could find is some random press release from 2003 on the "Rap News Network".
But then, just now, after I uploaded my youtube video and did another quick search before writing this post, I found that the VSOP official website has re-launched witha V.I.P. Room (coming soon), and even two Hummer H2 give-aways! Apparently, "It's in the Drop".

Most importantly, I've found a link an MP3 of a longer version of the track. Just loop that shit in pro-tools and shake that booty!

So new we post these up all over the metropolis in hopes that a fellow Junk Pirate might stumble by it and activate that funky-ass beat. Let's dip ta dis!

*Not to be confused with actual VSOP (Very Superior Old Pale) Cognac.

Junk Pirate Archives: The Classics part 1

The Catch Me If You Can Drink Stirrer

and now, to kill a little time, the awesome title sequence from the movie:

Best promo item EVER

Are you kidding me? It's is one of those squeezy foam promo items. Those are pretty cool. And it is for the 2004 movie Seed of Chucky (co-starring Redman with a cameo from John Waters). That's even cooler. And it is of a giant sperm. Now that is really cool. But wait, it gets even better.

Yup. On the flip side it says "Coming Everywhere." Oh, man. That is just so awesome. I can't believe this movie didn't make more money than Titanic and Star Wars combined with promotions like this. A little online searching revealed another great Seed of Chucky promo:

Seed of Chucky promo condoms. With the tagline "Get a Load of Chucky". Not bad, but I'll keep my giant "Coming Everywhere" sperm, thank you very much.

The Pharm System

 

One of the best and brightest Junk Store collections is the Jammer's hoard of Pharmaceutical Company Drug Pens. He just loves to roll up his sleeves and dig deep into the pen drawer in search for Pharm Pen treasure. It seems like he can dig up a pharm pen or three every try. And that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of all the other wonderful Promotional Drug products we have flowing in all the time. These doctors have it made. 

Zmax tape dispensers.

Tagamet Safe lock box

Chrolomycetin (distinguished for its versatility) ruler, Evoxac paper, and a vintage Septra memo pad. We got it all.

This one is good: a Fortaz ruler with stencils of very stylized breast and penis. How did the medical profession get by before something like this was given to them.

Welp, it looks like it is all about to change. According to a recent article in the NY Times, all free doctor gifts from the Pharmaceutical industry have been banned. Yup, the party is over. This shocking blow was eased a little bit by this awesome picture that was linked from the article...

Now, that is a Pharm Pen collection.  Or at least it was until it got taken off the internet. Damn. Here, I found another picture:

Promo-Putty

We are big, big fans of promotional items here at the Junk Store. In fact, the Jammer has collected well over 50 different drug-promo-pens from different pharmaceutical companies over the past few years. But this is a new one:

A couple hundred packages of blue silly putty from the good folks over at Lyris (crack open some fresh ideas with email marketing software). Not quite as cool as if it were from a drug manufacturer, but it'll do. Especially when it all showed up ready to display in egg crates.

I don't know about you, but I got a hankerin' to crack open a fresh idea via email marketing software right about now. Or maybe I'll just throw an eggful of blue goop at a coworker.