Hans' Fresh New Look

Maybe Hans heard some of our criticism because he has decided to bust out a whole new look...

It's fresh. It's youthful. I see he is still sporting those leather chaps, though.

And it looks like he is wearing a brand new pair of Nike SB P-Rod Signature Sneakers! 

Swell, the Junk Store mannequin is sporting more expensive footwear (with better arch support) than I am.

The Further Adventures of Hans

It has been a little while since we checked in on our old buddy Hans. It looks like he is getting in to the baseball season with a new Yankees cap. And maybe he is going on a trip or something cuz his bag is packed.

Come to think of it, I think Hans' look is getting kind of stale...

Proud American

Celebrate Independence Day (the day, not the movie) with the latest in a seemingly never ending stream of poorly designed "patriotic" T-Shirts:

And if you really need proof that these colors don't fade, check out all the Tales From The Junk Store Patriot Posts.

V.S.O.P. Have a sip ta dis.

When our pals over at EcoHaul stop by after hours to drop four palettes of tiny bottles and stoppers on us, and then surprise us with box upon box of promotional materials from various malt liquor manufacturers (more posts on these later), you just know everything is going to be all right.

I am particularly thrilled by the cases of motion-sensor activated rapping malt liquor cans of V.S.O.P. Blend*. The slightest motion and out pumps my boy Snoop Dogg kickin out the chorus some obscure, but downright funky hip hop track.

I even made a little video of it...

When I initially did some online research about this amazing song and beverage, all I could find is some random press release from 2003 on the "Rap News Network".
But then, just now, after I uploaded my youtube video and did another quick search before writing this post, I found that the VSOP official website has re-launched witha V.I.P. Room (coming soon), and even two Hummer H2 give-aways! Apparently, "It's in the Drop".

Most importantly, I've found a link an MP3 of a longer version of the track. Just loop that shit in pro-tools and shake that booty!

So new we post these up all over the metropolis in hopes that a fellow Junk Pirate might stumble by it and activate that funky-ass beat. Let's dip ta dis!

*Not to be confused with actual VSOP (Very Superior Old Pale) Cognac.

Masterpiece Art Gallery: Ecco Monkey Jesus?

Maybe...

Legs N' Butts

It was a crisp autumn evening and we had just shut down the receiving dock when some fool in Jeep Cherokee rolled up with what he claimed were "dozens of mannequins". Well, as you should well know, mannequins are like Junk Store gold, so we made a rare exception and re-opened the sorting room.

These weren't mannequins... they were replica-bodies made for military training exercises. And they weren't full bodies, just a bunch of legs and butts. And they were made to replicate the authentic weight of a real body, so each set of butt cheeks and thighs weight about 75 pounds each. They each had these long, dangerous bolts protruding from them.
I don't know how much experience you have piling-up body parts (none, I hope), but these things don't stack easy.

So now, and every morning since that fateful afternoon, I have to haul a half-ton of legs and butts out onto the sidewalk. Rain or shine. Swell.

pound foolish

Those wacky Europeans and Englishmen sure have some silly, colorful money. It looks like it's from some board game or something. It's hard to believe that their currency is worth almost double ours.

Wait a minute...
I'm rich!

Judge Dreads

People often ask "What is the craziest donation you have ever seen?", and it can be hard to answer. 

I guess it all depends on what you think is crazy: Sex toys, drugs, domestic animal furs, porno polaroids, the tortured journal of some bulimic teenager, machetes, live ammo, an apple juice bottle filled with gasoline... there is a lot to consider.

An easy answer is "a human skull". An it's true, we once got a real human skull. For real. But that story is tempered by the fact that the donor acknowledged that this is a very crazy donation and pretty much donated it for that reason. Also, I wasn't there when it got donated (although I got to see it the next day), and I didn't get a picture of it before The Jammer took it home. I heard he later traded it to one of his punk roommates for some magic beans or something stupid. Without a good photo or the item itself, people tend to think the human skull story is bunk.

I, personally, think this is at the top of the crazy donation pile. Not the item itself, but more the whole situation of some old hag saving all of her burnt matches and then demanding a donation tax-receipt so she can deduct it from her income taxes.

But...

When that inevitable "craziest donation" question does come up, the go-to answer is

"a stinky jar of human dreadlocks"

It's simple, it's fucked-up, it really isn't the type of thing that should be given to a thrift store, it's stinky, and we have the jar right there on the shelf up on the wall so we can toss it over to whomever asked the question. You wanna see a crazy donation, well chew on this...

I like how these are clearly AWGWD (Another White Guy With Dreads) dreads. Also, it is noteworthy that the Dread Jar also ushered in the still-current era of hoarding and displaying donations in jars.

You wanna take it up a notch. OK...
Boom! Another dreadlock donation:

Completely independent from the original "Dreads-in-a-jar" donation. These seem to be authentic, Afro-American dreadlocks. Still stinky, though.

So there you have it.

The Junk Pirate Found Art Exhibition

The show opens TONIGHT, from 6-9pm. We'll also be having drinky receptions on Friday, June 4th and Friday, July 2nd from 7-10pm.
Where? The Compound Gallery - 1167 65th St in Oakland, CA.
Gallery Hours: Thurs-Sun 12-6.
I'm coded in to the tech-lock at the gallery, so if anybody wants a private, after hours tour, let me know.

There will be tons of brand new pieces of artwork, lots of framed junk, over 300 board game pieces, 21 different ViewMaster viewers, 6 kinds of Gumby, other people's photos, a new issue of the zine (if I can finish it in time), custom made Junk Pirate Dice, T-shirts, free beer from Trumer, gambling, prizes, the most insane found slide show ever, and an awesome iPod playlist custom made by yours truly.
Roll the Dice for the Price, baby.

I'll be posting photos of the artwork soon enough, right after I sleep for about a week. Thanks to everyone for checking out this blog, supporting Junk Pirate, and donating all your unwanted awesomeness to the local thrift store.

Specific Thanks go out to: Narangkar, Matt & Lena, Nic, Andrew, The Jammer, the rest of the Junk Store clique, and the great Nungi Van.

The Pan-Pet

The final Viewmaster Blog isn't for a ViewMaster at all. It is for a Japanese Stereoscopic panorama viewer by Gakken Co. called the Pan-Pet.

The Pan-Pet used widescreen images on 35mm film on a reel-to-reel device that is kinda laborious to advance. The panoramic images (this one has the trippy architecture from Expo '70) are pretty cool. Made in 1969, this product never really caught on so only a handful of image reels were manufactured. 

Here is a picture I took looking through one of the little eye-holes with my camera:

Apparently they made a reel of artful nudes! Wish I had that one. Here is a scan of the film I found online:

And, of course, here is a link for more info and images on the Pan-Pet.

So, that's it for the big ViewMaster week here on Tales From The Junk Store.

The big, big Junk Pirate Art Exhibition opens tomorrow night. I've been staying up way past my bedtime trying to get everything put together. I've only taken breaks to eat and make these ViewMaster posts. More info here. Hope to see you there.

Viewmaster?

Check it out...

Here is a simple stereoscopic viewer. Is it made by Sawyers? GAF? Fisher Price? Nope.

It's some generic Chinese import knock-off faker. The viewing discs are just simple line drawings of animals. They aren't even 3D! I feel really, really sorry for the poor kid who wanted a Viewmaster and instead ends up with this migraine inducing impostor.

Today's Stereoscopic Linko: Let's see what Viewmaster Products are available on eBay right now!

Also, this:

Model D (and by 'D' I mean 'F')

What better way to follow-up a Model C than with a ViewMaster Model D Viewer!

It's the first illuminated viewer! Made of Bakelite and manufactured between 1955 and 1972, this viewer is heavy duty, but also prone to cracking and breaking apart (which I learned when I dropped it while taking these photos.

I somehow also managed to mangle the box pretty bad.

Order yours for over $200 here.

Notice: Over two years later and a friendly buccaroo in the comments correctly identified this as a Model F, not a Model D. Adjust your life plans accordingly.

And now for our link: Make your own custom ViewMaster Picture Disc Reels here!

Model C

Check this one out... a ViewMaster Model C, the classic baby boomer style manufactured from 1946 to 1955. It's made of Bakelite and was the first viewer to have a slot for easy loading of the 3D picture reels. Still works!

Today's 3D Link: More info on the Model C!

ViewMaster Collector's Case

I think it would be fair to label me as a "ViewMaster Collector", so a donation like this has my name written all over it.

The blue ViewMaster Collector's Case. Perfect for encasing your collection of Viewmaster products.

Of course, if your ViewMaster collection has exceeded two viewers and a handful viewing discs, you are going to need several of these cases. Then you would need a ViewMaster Collector's Case Collector's Case, to encase your collection of Collector's Cases.

While you wrap your brain around that, let's check in with today's ViewMaster link:
The Collectors Weekly webpage for View-Master collectibles.

Viewmasters... in 3D

A couple more here. A bluey with an orange trigger, and then a kinda bloated looking modern red guy. Plus a bonus translucent orange disc holder. 

Today's link: A USA Today article from 2004 about Viewmaster's 65th Anniversary!

Viewmasters - the collection begins

Just a quick picture of the early days of the Viewmaster collection. You might think that the two red ones are the same, but that would make you an idiot with no observation skills. Look at the bright orange pull-down lever... one has a concave grip and one is a ball!

We also have a blue guy, one of those vintage red-and-white two-toners, a black viewer, a contemporary "Builder Bob" promo piece, and a ultra-rare Bakelite brown boy. Each of these have specific Model identification letters, but right now I'm to busy to take the time to look it all up.

Also pictured here are a smattering of reels, a few vintage reel disc envelopes, and a plastic disc case. Looks like we're ready to have ourselves a Viewmaster party.

And now for today's Viewmaster link: A Glossary of Viewmaster Collecting Terminology

"I always considered the GAF Viewmaster an ingenius invention..."

The big Junk Pirate Found Art Exhibition is coming up in less than a fortnight, and I haven't even begun to assemble the collections for display. Once all is said and done I'll be posting the beautiful collections right here on this blog, but in the meantime I think it is about time to drop some of my favorites...
VIEWMASTERS!
Do you know they made 25 different models of the Viewmaster viewer since its inception in 1940. With all the color variations (and some exclusive foreign styles) there are likely over a hundred different viewers for you to donate to the junk store. Over 1.5 Billion viewing disc have been produced.
It is one of my favorite Junk Pirate collections, and will be proudly displayed (with a viewmaster reel lightbox (if I can figure out how to build it in time)) during the show.

So let's all wallow in our own greatness as spend the final countdown days to the big exhibition perusing several posts of the fantastic and hopefully ever growing Viewmaster collection.

Top Cop & Cluedo

After a few go-rounds playing "Pass Out", we like to dip into the vintage games closet for a little "Top Cop"...

Then we finish the night off right with a little 1950s Clue.

Not Spiro...

Not exactly a Spirograph, but I'm adding it to the collection anyways.

Sorry for all the post delays. I'm knee deep in the upcoming Junk Pirate Found Art Exhibition production and promotion. Get all the info at www.junkpirate.com.
May might be a lean month on the blog, but there is lots of great stuff getting donated so keep checking back and we'll blast-off in June.

Never sleep alone again

Donations like this don't even need some clever commentary.

Oh Yeah!

We recently got in another donation of Atari 2600 games (a blog-worthy score on its own):

But, look closely and you'll see what may be the best Atari 2600 game title of all times... Kool-Aid Man!

It comes in a funky shaped cartridge, and was made in 1983 by Mattel (although General Foods Corp holds the copyright). I never actually played the game, but I just love the idea of a Kool-Aid Man game."Oh Yeah! As in the commercials from that time frame, the Kool-Aid Man (a pitcher of that tasty beverage with a face) comes crashing through the wall. As the story goes, the "Thirsties" are trying to drain your pool. As they stop and take a drink, move Kool-Aid man around the yard and capture them. The Thirsties that are not standing still will get in your way and bounce Kool-Aid Man around. If you see any of the Kool-Aid ingredients (water, sugar, or Kool-Aid soft drink mix), grab it and you will become big and strong, and the Thirsties won't be able to push you around for a while. Try to clear all 30 Thirsties before they drain the pool."
Kool-Aid Man initially could be obtained by sending in proofs-of-purchase from Kool-Aid products. Later, it was made available for purchase in stores, so it's not as rare as it could have been."
What's really nuts is that this is not the best Kool-Aid related donation we have ever had. Aside from the vintage Kool-Aid Man comic (featuring Kool-Aid Man surfing and skating), we once got a pre-clipped collection of 78 Kool-Aid Points pasted onto a piece of paper! Exactly the kind of Points you would need to send in to get the Kool-Aid Man Atari game!

I so wish I had taken a color photo or scan of this masterpiece. Alas, all we have is this image from a xerox I used in Issue #6 of Junk Pirate Zine.
And, obviously, here are some Kool-Aid related video clips and links:

• You can play a emulation of the Kool-Aid Man Atari game here.
• A video of the Kool-Aid Man gameplay!

• And no Kool-Aid post is complete without some embedded Kool-Aid commercial:

white wine and shrimp

I will never, ever, ever complain about a booze donation.
But...

This bottle of Beringer 2008 Moscato is good for a blog post about booze donations and that is about it. Blech.

Just cuz I'm NOT complaining about it doesn't mean I don't want it.
Doesn't mean I won't drink it either.

A Collection of Collections

coming May 29th, 2010, the Junk Pirate Found Art Exhibition.

Vehicle Magnets

When I say "vehicle magnets", I'm not talking about those ribbon shaped magnets for your car in support of this or that (although we are collecting those on the Junk Store truck). I'm speaking of the great collection of refrigerator magnets shaped like vehicles. Vans mostly.

It all started back at the old Register B...

Currently, the collection, when not in hiding from the wrath of Sausage Fingers, is housed on the wall in the Sorting Room Play Closet, adjacent to the State Magnets. We'll also include magnets shaped like airplanes, helicopters, teeth, and pharmacy mortar-and-pestles.

Burn That Mutha Down

I'm not talking about burning down the entire Junk Store...

Ever on the prowl for any and every analog light show accessory and party-enhancing plug-in possibility, the after-hours Junk Store Sorting Room is transformed into a freak-flag-flying-day-tripping-psychedelic dance party and human be-in, all with the help of a double shot of working disco projecto-globes.

Tales from the Dork Side: vintage Star Wars Poncho!

Check it out... Vintage 1977 Star Wars Darth Vader Fun Poncho, with mask and hood, new in the package!

Waterproof. Flame. Retarded. Vinyl.

You might think that as both a lifelong Star Wars fan (ok, Jar-Jar kind of ruined it), as well as a refined afficiando of vintage thrift store goods, I would take great care to not remove or damage the new-in-package condition of this fine collectible...

Wrong again.

used by Dan Akroyd

Overhead projectors are good for enlarging artwork (if you're a tracer), psychedelic light shows, or a good old fashioned business presentation with transparencies. But a recent overhead projector came in with one of the more cryptic notes in recent memory...

"Projector works - one bulb - FREE - Plug in compartment below. USED By DAN AKROYD in the movie "Spies Like Us" - Projector wort"

Now, it has been a while since I saw Spies Like Us, the 1985 John Landis production about two bungling idiots who think they are spies who amazingly prevent a nuclear war, but I don't recall Dan Akroyd using an overhead projector as a major plot point. Or perhaps Dan Akroyd, the actor, used this specific projector in his preparation for the role.

Either way, this post-it note now ranks among my favorites.

Ninja Rap

When we first created the Donation Manifestation wish-list, I threw "ninja throwing stars" (or "hira-shuriken") right there at the top. I figured we would be getting one or two of these in every month. In the dozens of years I've been sorting Junk Store donations since then, we have not seen a single one of there. Not a one. Nunchucks, sure. Swords, no problem, but ninja stars... never.

Until today.

Sure, it is so dull it acts as more of a blunt object weapon than a blade, and I suspect that it was made to be more decorative than functional. I'm still happy to finally see one of these (it was donated in a box of broken action figures). Keeeyah!

worn only once - in 1990

Unlike music instruments (see my last post), wigs, weaves, and toupees aren't nearly as rare of a donation as you would expect, or hope. I guess an artist or teacher could use it for something, particularly a bald artist or teacher.

Along those lines, here is one of my recent favorites. The note that was taped to the packaging is in itself a great item for Tales From the Junk Store.

Cost over $500!?! You got ripped off!

And here is our old buddy Hans sampling the goods for us. Looking sharp, Hans.

Amped

Little combo amps are great and all but if we really want to rock we're gonna need some serious wattage here.

Actual musical instruments (aside from pan pipes) are a pretty rare donation at the Junk Store. Much more so than you would expect. An occasional saxophone piece here or maybe a ukulele there, but the big guns never seem to come in. And if or when they do, Big Merl and Top Cat have usually got them squirreled away at the home studio by sundown so I never even get a chance to shred.

fake boobs

When we first got these in, I thought they were actual silicon implants or something. How fun and creepy and silly...

But, upon closer inspection, they are actually prosthetic boobs for women who have had to have mastectomies because of breast cancer or what have you.

Not quite so much fun, eh? Yeah, I feel like an insensitive jerk for trying to somehow portray this donation as weird and freaky (which it still kinda is). I don't feel bad enough to not post it on the Junk Store blog, but I still feel bad.

Yellow Fuzzy Rider

Until I accidentally drop my new smart phone into the dumpster, we currently have the ability to make a quick video here at the Junk Store and quickly upload it to Youtube.

Like this:

Who is this fuzzy yellow tricycle rider? Is it hand made? Why is this so fascinating to me?

Look at those crazy legs go! Now take it viral, people.