Jul 31, 2014

Familiar Places

For some of you fat kids out there, this place may be a little too familiar.

Jul 27, 2014

Conan the Librarian

Crom might not care about the piddling problems of us mortal (then to hell with you!), but I sure as hell care a great deal about all these awesome Conan paperbacks.

Even better. the miniature Conan sword replica.
Great for crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, hearing the lamentations of the women, and open letters.

Jul 24, 2014

Bontempi and Magnus Reed Pianos

A few of the many electric harmonium reed pianos that pass through my hands on a regular basis. 

Jul 20, 2014

Reuse it again and again

Another quality assortment of "housewares" got donated recently...

Might as well look at these again while were at it.

Jul 16, 2014

Jul 3, 2014

The Age of Cinder Block-Sized Cell Phones

Some seriously high-tech mobile phones here:

Ain't that right, Murtaugh?

Jun 29, 2014


Three different versions of Ororo Munroe in the to bins today.

Jun 23, 2014

Junk Store Archives: Fluffy Kitties

A look at some of the fluffy cats that have crossed my path here at the Junk Store:

This is a photo from some old book I spray mounted to the wall behind the Frames Bin in the Sorting Room. 

This lil puff ball kitten was named Puff Ball and is made out of cotton balls. This picture is from way back in the Junk Store past.

A three-dimensional interpretation of a fluffy calico. The "Little Miss Kitty Pumpkin" plaque on the frame just puts this thing over the top.

Jun 20, 2014

We Jammin

How many acoustic guitars do we need in the Sorting Room, just to be prepared in case a spontaneous folk jam pops up unexpectedly next to the water cooler?

Four. The answer is four guitars.

Jun 17, 2014

Unopened Garbage Pail Kids Wax Pack!!!

Any original Garbage Pail Kids cards are reason for celebration at the Junk Store, but an unopened Series 3 wax pack is enough to make your head explode!

Jun 9, 2014

Monkey Creeps

Holy shit I just was combing through my collection of Other People's Photos and I realized this girl is holding one of these kind of freaky monkey dolls!

And it's not even the trippiest part of the photo!

Jun 8, 2014

Jun 5, 2014

Lazer Tag: Rookie vs. Hawk

Two complete game kits of vintage Lazer Tag got donated so it's all out futuristic warfare in the Sorting Room. 

But no Junk Store pick-up game of Lazer Tag could ever match the action in this AMAZING Lazer Tag commercial featuring a dystopian future where skateboarders and musclemen in ATVs (Hawk?) battle it out in a huge concrete bowl. Amazing!

Also this commercial...

May 28, 2014

You're Gonna Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid - Part 2

We're not really intending to start a collection of BB Guns, but you start shoving them in the corner of the Sorting Room and then someone donates a rifle rack, and then, well...

May 26, 2014

You're Gonna Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

You would think that with all these quality working BB Guns coming through the Junk Store month after month I would be a better marksman, but I only hit the customers in the face, like, 20% of the time.

May 23, 2014

Generic Sharpie Clones

Let's see here. We've got
  • Super Shankie
  • Super Skerpie
  • Super Sharbao
  • Shamark
  • Staunion
  • the ever popular Super Marker

Still waiting on that "Chango" brand Sharpie knock-off.

May 20, 2014

Hans 2014

It's post number 500 for the Tales from the Junk Store blog! And what better way to celebrate than by partying with our old friend Hans. When we last checked in with Hans, he was hoarding ladies' undergarments over by the water cooler. But now I can't seem to find him anywhere.

Wait. Look up.
There's Hans. That rascal somehow got up on top of the sorting room rolling door and is now perched like a gargoyle on PCP. I see he still is sporting those leather chaps. Looks like his collection of donated underwear is going strong, too.

May 13, 2014

Steingraf Cat Fur Bandages

It's time to break out the big guns. The heavy hitters. The truly amazing and fucked-up donations that refuse to be ignored. The kinds of items I immediately think of when I am asked, "What's the craziest thing that's ever been donated?"

Here you go... the Steingraf Katzenfell Bandagen.

That's right. It's some sort of garment wrapping made of a house cat pelt. And the picture on the box is of a kitten that looks pretty frightened. Those wacky Germans and their cat furs.

May 6, 2014

Bad Ass Cassette Players

We've had some impressive audio cassette players come through the Junk Store recently. Like this badass Tiffen Pro-Dissolve player that comes in its own hardcase with built-in speaker. Not bad.

Or how about this vintage Sankyo stereo cassette deck with all kinds of knobs and faders and shit. Niiice.

Ok, I just did about 5 seconds of research and I see the Tiffen is a slide-projector controller. However, I'm choosing to still regard it as a bad ass cassette deck.

May 3, 2014

Junk Pirate zine #19 OUT NOW

Junk Pirate zine has returned from its long slumber and issue #19 is unleashed.
Featuring lots of random photocopied images.
You can get your copy for just a buck at Rowan Morrison Books online.

May 2, 2014


Celebrating our First Amendment Rights by showing off our collection of toy guns to local law enforcement, many of which look just like real ones. What could possibly go wrong?

Apr 27, 2014

Game ON!

The FC Twin 'Famiclone' plays both NES and Super Nintendo games. You don't even have to blow in the cartridges over and over to get them working. As long as a steady stream of Nintendo games stream through the Junk Store, you'll likely never hear from me again.

Apr 9, 2014

Nunchukas, Suckas

Unruly customers are about to feel the wrath of the numb-chucks, yo!
Collapsible heavy steel nunchukas complete with quick-draw belt holster. Time to crack some skulls... most likely my own.

Maybe I should get a little practice in first with this handy-dandy instructional chart:

Apr 4, 2014


A couple new Spirograph and Spirographesque items for you Junk Pirate loyalist.
We have the generic Hypotrochoid Art Set, Spirograph Plus, Spirograph Keychain, and Kenner's New SpiroTot!

Apr 1, 2014

This Thing

The Jammer and I have worked together sorting junk for well over a decade. We've seen countless coworkers, bosses, and regular customers come and go. We've relocated the Junk Store to a new location, helped launch new Junk programs, seen other collapse, and have witnessed the rebirth of the Heap several thousand times. Change alone is unchanging. That and this thing...

I don't know what this thing is. I don't know what  it is supposed to be. I don't know who made it, why they made it, and when it was donated to the Junk Store. All I know is that through thick and thin, purges and clear-outs, OSHA inspections and rodent infestations, this thing is still hanging on the sorting room wall.

Mar 1, 2014

2 Bobas - 3 Lukes

I posted this photo of two Boba Fetts from different eras on the Junk Pirate instagram account a little while back. 

It reminded me of one of the all-time classic pieces of Junk Pirate Art, 3 Lukes! It was really awkward when all the characters in the Star Wars action figure line got all buff there for a minute. Look at Luke's legs on the right there! Moisture farmer indeed.