Two complete game kits of vintage Lazer Tag got donated so it's all out futuristic warfare in the Sorting Room.
But no Junk Store pick-up game of Lazer Tag could ever match the action in this AMAZING Lazer Tag commercial featuring a dystopian future where skateboarders and musclemen in ATVs (Hawk?) battle it out in a huge concrete bowl. Amazing!
You would think that with all these quality working BB Guns coming through the Junk Store month after month I would be a better marksman, but I only hit the customers in the face, like, 20% of the time.
It's post number 500 for the Tales from the Junk Store blog! And what better way to celebrate than by partying with our old friend Hans. When we last checked in with Hans, he was hoarding ladies' undergarments over by the water cooler. But now I can't seem to find him anywhere.
Wait. Look up.
There's Hans. That rascal somehow got up on top of the sorting room rolling door and is now perched like a gargoyle on PCP. I see he still is sporting those leather chaps. Looks like his collection of donated underwear is going strong, too.
It's time to break out the big guns. The heavy hitters. The truly amazing and fucked-up donations that refuse to be ignored. The kinds of items I immediately think of when I am asked, "What's the craziest thing that's ever been donated?"
Here you go... the Steingraf Katzenfell Bandagen.
That's right. It's some sort of garment wrapping made of a house cat pelt. And the picture on the box is of a kitten that looks pretty frightened. Those wacky Germans and their cat furs.
The FC Twin 'Famiclone' plays both NES and Super Nintendo games. You don't even have to blow in the cartridges over and over to get them working. As long as a steady stream of Nintendo games stream through the Junk Store, you'll likely never hear from me again.
The Jammer and I have worked together sorting junk for well over a decade. We've seen countless coworkers, bosses, and regular customers come and go. We've relocated the Junk Store to a new location, helped launch new Junk programs, seen other collapse, and have witnessed the rebirth of the Heap several thousand times. Change alone is unchanging. That and this thing...
I don't know what this thing is. I don't know what it is supposed to be. I don't know who made it, why they made it, and when it was donated to the Junk Store. All I know is that through thick and thin, purges and clear-outs, OSHA inspections and rodent infestations, this thing is still hanging on the sorting room wall.
I posted this photo of two Boba Fetts from different eras on the Junk Pirate instagram account a little while back.
It reminded me of one of the all-time classic pieces of Junk Pirate Art, 3 Lukes! It was really awkward when all the characters in the Star Wars action figure line got all buff there for a minute. Look at Luke's legs on the right there! Moisture farmer indeed.
We've been repping the vehicle shaped promo magnets for over a decade here at the Junk Store, as the above picture of the old register from the Junk Pirate archives confirms. Be it van, sports car, box truck (Webvan!), tow truck, or big rig, we love a good vehicle shaped magnet. No better way to promote your mobile business.
Which brings us to a lovely piece of Junk Pirate Fine Art... 33 Vehicle Shaped Magnets from 2010!