Dec 31, 2013

The New LSD

Leadership - Service - Dedication... man I'm so fucked-up.

Dec 19, 2013

Lookin' Sharp: Knives of the Junk Store

From throwing knives to Rambo knives to fantasy novelty knives to pocket knives, we get a lot of sharps here at the Junk Store. Take a look... but don't touch.

Sep 29, 2013

Bird Box

Something sure does smell foul in the Junk Store heap.

Pure taxidermy gold of an ornithological nature right here.

Jul 22, 2013

Masterpiece of Ass

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Junk Store art this good comes along only once or twice a month. 

Jun 27, 2013

BETA Thriller

You call yourself a Michael Jackson fan?
Are you watching Making Michael Jackson's Thriller on BETAMAX tape?!?
I didn't think so.

And thus ends the Junk Pirate tribute to Michael Jackson. Shamon!

Jun 26, 2013

Tell us a story, Michael

Quincy Jones produced this strange record album of Michael Jackson emphatically narrating the story of E.T.

Just to be clear, this record features no Michael Jackson music. The movie features no Michael Jackson music. Michael Jackson should have nothing to do with E.T. Yet it seems such a natural fit.

A little research shows that this record was released literally days before Thriller, won a Grammy (for best recording for children), and was recalled by Sony. I also see that this audiobook was written by Quincy Jone, and that Michael Jackson felt an affinity for E.T. In fact, Jackson was so into E.T., that he was quoted (regarding his meeting with the animatronic E.T. for the label photo seen below):
"He was so real that I was talking to him. I kissed him before I left. The next day, I missed him."

Also, here is another E.T. picture disc record of the soundtrack we put up on the sorting room wall.

Jun 25, 2013

Shamon! Michael Jackson at the Junk Store!

Let us spend the week mourning the anniversary of death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

I truly wish I had taken a photo of every scrap of MJ merch that has passed through the sorting room (why, oh why didn't I grab the 12" single of Billie Jean with the instrumental version?!?), but I still have a few picks to share so get out your rhinestone glove and hyperbaric oxygen sleeping chamber and let's get started with this Barbie-sized Jackson doll.

And, of course, he arrived pantsless.

Jun 22, 2013

Exotic Decorator Lite in the Box

If you fancy yourself too sophisticated for I regular old lava lamp, might I recommend the Lave-Lite, the exotic decorator lite.
  • Fascinating
  • Intriguing
  • Soothing
  • Ever-Changing
  • Entertaining
  • Made in U.S.A.
Check out all the awesome possible uses suggested by the illustrations on the side of the box. Looks like you can knit by it, use it for your outdoor cafe seating, and so on.

Jun 19, 2013

Vintage Selfie

This dude was way ahead of his time by snapping a "selfie" back in 1972. Unfortunately, we had to wait 40 years to post it on instagram

With that giant tie, it was worth the wait.

Jun 1, 2013

Tumblr from the Junk Store

Presently, I am slowly easing all the amazing awesomeness that is the Tales from the Junk Store blog over towards the new Junk Pirate tumblr page. This will feature such greatness as:
  • new, crazy, and often disturbing items donated to the Junk Store.
  • perhaps more frequent updates.... no promises.
  • all that great Junk Pirate fine art you know you can't live without.
  • witty commentary.
  • other people's photos.
  • links to other awesome collections.
  • and fantastically huge posts that delve deep into the details of some of the famous Junk Pirate collections.
Will I keep updating this blog?     Sure, why not.
Do my bosses know about this?    I sure hope not.
Can you buy this stuff from me?     "I'm a gripper, not a flipper".
Do I ask question out loud to myself and then answer them?     Never!

So check out the Tumblr blog and step up to keep your rep up.

Apr 28, 2013

Oh, No You Didn't!!!

In my lifetime of sorting through donation here at the Junk Store, I have encountered some repugnant shit. It's part of the job and at the very least it makes for some good stories when I meet up with the other Junk Pirates for a beer after work.
Heck, some of the worst stuff can also be the best.

But I'm going to draw the line at collection of body refuse.
Exhibit A: This container featuring several little plastic boxes (with magnifier lids) with collected fingernail, toenail, and pubic hair trimmings.

You read that right.

In my opinion, the fact that it is so methodically collected and stored makes it all the more disturbing.

Apr 24, 2013

Finger Puppetmaster

It's just one of those things that happens. A gridded box (or divided drawer) get nailed to the wall. Then you put one of the cheapo finger puppets that come in vending machines in a cubby. Then another one. And then a few more.
About two months later you're looking at this:


Mar 20, 2013

Junk Store Secrets

A special insider's look into the secret tunnels that permeate the Junk Store.
With ancient markings, we utilize these causeways to stash hoards, eat snacks, spy on potential shoplifters, or for a mid-day get away.

Mar 15, 2013


Tales from the Junk Store is back with the classic polystyrene naked dude.

Feb 24, 2013

How to Master the Video Games

After all this constant retro home gaming, I need to take a break from the tv and maybe read a book or something....

Feb 23, 2013

Don't hate the Plug-N-Player, hate the Game.

After all the excitement of the Atari 2600 Plug & Play system I started to hoard every similar donation and, sure enough, within a few weeks I had quite a stash going.

My favorites are the Atari Flashback (with 2 detachable analog joysticks) and count 'em 3 different version of Pac Man. The one that is shaped like a cocktail table cabinet is wireless!

Game on!

Feb 20, 2013

Atari Plug-n-Play

Here's a little dandy... it's an Atari 2600 controller that has a bunch of games pre-programed right in there. Great and also forgettable games like Centipede, Breakout, Gravitar, Pong, Circus Atari, Asteroids, Adventure, Missile Command, Yar's Revenge, and Real Sports Volleyball. You just hook the RCA cables into your television, turn it on, and completely stop working for the rest of the afternoon.

Hey, you should check out all the great video game donations that have been featured so far on the Tales from the Junk Store blog.

Feb 19, 2013


Nothing like a tasty 2nd Gen cartridge system to get the stoke flowing here at the Junk Store.
ColecoVision debuted in 1982 and was out with the video game industry crash less than two years later, but its arcade-like graphics and premium game selection made it a winner. Voted #12 of the 25 greatest game consoles of all time (a better ranking than the PS3)!

Feb 15, 2013

Odyssey 2

While perhaps not a aesthetically striking as the sporty yellow Odyssey 300, you still can't deny the retro-hi-tech styling of the Magnavox Odyssey 2 from 1978. With a 49-key alphanumeric membrane keyboard, it may look futuristic, but the lacking graphics and power of this cartridge system were considered "primitive" even by late 70s standards. The Atari 2600 pretty much wiped the floor with this thing.

Still, we here at Junk Pirate are always keen to caress any retro game system, particularly those that used cartridges and joysticks.

If you somehow still have unanswered questions about the Odyssey 2, you will find them all answered, and many, many, many more at the Odyssey2 Homepage.

Aww, heck. I just can't resist throwing in a picture of my Odyssey 300. It's just so pretty:

Feb 13, 2013

Game & Watch Chef

You're a chef in a kitchen and you have to cook three meals at once, so you have to throw the meals in the air to get a another meal in your pan. There's a cat on a shelf that catches the meal with a fork, but then lets it drop after some seconds. Chef is one of the fastest Game & Watch

This bad boy is coming atcha fully working from way back in 1981. Come and get it!

Feb 9, 2013

TrackBalls to the Wall

Fans of Marble Madness and Centipede will rejoice in the discovery of this Wico Command Control Trackball Controller, compatible with the Atari 2600.
And if it doesn't work, no problemo, learn to fix it here.

Feb 8, 2013

Radio Shack TV Scoreboard

For those real tech misfits who aren't interested in Atari Pong because its "too mainstream" I give you the Radio Shack Electronic TV Scoreboard!

This is an original first generation video game based on a single chip, which basically is nerd-talk for variations of Pong. This one had such authentic competitions as: Tennis, Hockey, Squash, and Practice.
The actual unit is pretty unique looking with it's detachable Left Player control and baby blue trim. 

Apparently, there was another version of the Radio Shack TV Scoreboard that came with a realistic looking light gun and some extra games. I found this scan on the net:

Feb 6, 2013

P O N G by Atari

Let's take this one back to the beginning.
The year is 1976. You and you bros need an instant fix of that sweet, sweet digital ping pong game but you are already too drunk to get to the local bar. Plus, you are totally out of quarters. Luckily, you recently invested $100 (in 1976 dollars!) for this bad boy. Let the games begin!

It's the PONG C-140 multi-player system!
Does it work? I have no idea since there isn't and RCA or HDMI hookup. 
Is it dusty? You bet!


Feb 5, 2013

Video Game Time - 1up

It's been a while since I've gotten a good vintage gaming session going here at the Junk Store. So get comfy, grab a snack and a soda, turn the volume up and turn the ringer off cuz we're leveling up.

Oh yeah; All this month, on and on until I run out of pictures, we're delving deep into the heap for some arcade action.

Jan 31, 2013

He's Gonna Be Mean To Me

Have I not posted this picture of a Mr. Bill carnival mirror yet?
No? Well, here it is.

This is where I would post some embedded youtube Mr. Bill video but I guess Saturday Night Live ain't having it so just imagine his voice in your head.

Jan 13, 2013

back when Records were Cylindrical

Gold Moulded from Edison. Play that funky music white boy.
2 minutes of face melting recordings from at least 100 years ago. If there was an actual record in this tube, which there wasn't. It was just package.

Jan 8, 2013

The Heap Lives!

Feed the HEAP!
Through the magic of technology and the Autostitch app, I present to you a sampling of recent Heaps....

Sit back and enjoy the fact that it isn't your job to have to sort through and try to sell all these massive piles of garbage.