May 31, 2009

The many faces of Hans

So I walk into work one morning, head to the sorting area, and nearly shit my pants when I turn on the lights to see this guy all up in my face...

Actually, he was holding one of those realistic looking water pistols. Well, after our shocking introduction, I came to be pretty good friends with this life-sized pillowy mannequin that I named Hans (although he goes by many other nicknames).

Hans is always willing (or unable to prevent) to be dressed up and accessorized with anything we're able to pluck from the donation heap. Here he is in an outfit I like to call "Busking-Patriotic-Frankenstein". Notice the leather chaps and the power-belt. More on the power-belt coming soon.

Hans gets some painting done with his fruit-picker. Always looking dapper in his fancy hat and festive birdman mask.

Getting folksy. I'm just now noticing that Hans is still rocking that green shirt.

Hans' latest incarnation is that of Darth Pantsless. Stay tuned right here at Tales From the Junk Store for more fashion updates. 

May 29, 2009

Flog Blog part 2

These kinds of donations are becoming way too common. 
Way    too    common.

May 25, 2009

Give 'em a hand

Lots of good hands coming in these days.

I call this one "Grabby".

Hand-bottles, not bottle-hands.

Some vain young artist made wax castings of themselves. 
Come to think of it, there have been lots of other mannequin hands and that kind of stuff that I didn't get pictures of. I'll have to keep track of those. 

May 23, 2009


Sure, I've heard of Milton Bradley's Trouble board game, with the patented Pop-O-Matci dice bubble, but I've never heard of Headache. And here we have two different versions! Amazing. Basically, Headache is the exact same game a Trouble (which is basically just Parcheesi), but looks a little more exotic. Read all about the game "Headache" here.
I just love different version of the same thing. That is basically what Junk Pirate (and collecting in general) is all about... different versions of the same thing. 

May 20, 2009

Bow to your Sensei!

Here we have a nice looking "holographic" photo postcard of Jesus standing in a rose garden.

Take a closer look, and I could swear that Jesus is that guy who was Rex Kwon Do in Napoleon Dynamite, Diedrich Bader. Here is the best I could do getting a close-up image of Jesus (the texture on the card gave me problems) and then an image of Bader (as Lawrence in Office Space) that I got off the 'net: 

Yup. No doubt about it. Now let's all celebrate with this awesome clip of Rex Kwon Do:

May 18, 2009

Happy Dippy Drinking Bobby Sippy Tippy Peace Birds

Just an all-time Junk Store classic: the "Drinking Bird" has been donated a few times in my tenure, and this time we are fortunate enough to have gotten two different styles within a few days of each other. A vintage, orange "Peace Bird" on the left and the classic top-hat, red-liquid "Drinking Happy Bird" on the right.

These things go by many, many names, but they all look pretty similar and operate on the same principles of heat escaping through evaporation on the wetted felt head, or something like that. You can read all about the thrilling physics behinds this novelty here

The drinking bird was invented by Miles V. Sullivan in 1945 and patented in 1946. He was a Ph.D. inventor-scientist at Bell Labs in Murray Hill, NJ. 

My favorite part of is definitely the packaging on the Peace Bird. "Absolutely Incombustible".

I'll leave you all with this video I found:

May 13, 2009


A collection that seems to come around time and again, but can never really get beyond half a white box or so before they get sold off, is that of the labelmaker. Specifically, that of the Dymo brand labelmaker, although I'm not adverse to throwing a generic one in there should the opportunity arise.

I'm not talking about some fancy-ass Brother P-Touch with a keyboard and all that; I'm talking about the kind with the twisty letter wheel that embosses the words upwards on adhesive tape. Yeah, dog! I'll label the shit out of everything in the room with one of these. 

Look at this monster. Having this heavy duty steel labelmaker in my hand gives me the confidence to label things that have no business being labeled, like the telephone or water cooler.

You wanna kick it up to the next level? Well feast on this: somebody completes the ultimate circle of labelmaking by donated a labelmaker that has been labeled as a labelmaker! Brilliant!
The above photo is one of my Junk Pirate favorites of the last few months.  

Holy crap, is the final "R" on that label backwards?!? Amazing

May 7, 2009

More Balls

Back (in a jar) by popular demand, the ever-growing ever-bouncing rubber ball collection. Keep 'em coming...

More balls from a previous post here.

May 6, 2009

Bring Home the Bacon

A "Boys and Girls Love Jewels" brand bacon keychain. From the "Love Collection". 

May 1, 2009

27 different cell phones

What I really want is some of those giant old cell phones from back in the day.

Now take it easy, Riggs!