Jan 28, 2011

Knockoffs: Plastic Rainbow Spring

NOT Slinky, NOT Gold Plated Executive Puzzle, but Plastic Rainbow Spring!
Action Packed Fun.

Well, that's actually all I really have right now for pictures of Junk Store donated Knockoffs. Thought I had more. But now that it's in my mind, I'm practically guaranteed more will arrive imminently.

In the meanwhile, here are some other classics I found linked through Funny or Die...
Also check out the King of Knockoff sights: Knockingoff.com

and my new backpack...

Jan 26, 2011

Knockoffs & Generics: Spiral Art

Lately I've been taking great pleasure in spotting generic knockoffs of popular products. From those cheapo import toys you find at the flea market to government issued food packaging, few things are brightening my winter quite like a the hilarious names and images of these ripoffs.
In fact, I'm so stoked on this new Junk Pirate category that I've made a new Junk Pirate blog category: knockoffs.
So for a few consecutive days here, let's celebrate low quality imitations of popular products and characters.

Spirograph has been knocked off a lot. Recently we obtained this Taiwanese "Design Ruler". It's about 3 inches tall. 
And let's not forget this:

This may look like an original art product, but don't let the fancy packaging fool you. Any product with the words "Sprial" and "Art" in it is a Spirograph knockoff.

Jan 24, 2011

Go-Go Drinking

The authentic Go-Go Girl Drink Mixer, still in the box. With removable bikini for topless Go-Go! There are several videos already up on youtube of this ridiculous novelty in action.

Jan 18, 2011

This Job Bites

Good things tend to get donated in tiny paperboard boxes... jewelry bits, shells, beads, stuff made of sterling silver, and even the boxes themselves can fetch up to and including 50¢ each.
But it's not all glitter and gemstones. Some of the freakiest surprise lie within those little boxes. Usually a beetle and bug collection, occasionally forgotten chocolates, and even the rare long lost stash. 
I should have been prepared for it, but I still got a chill opening a fancy bracelet box and finding these:

It's a smorgasbord of human teeth in various states of rot. 
Excellent for voodoo practice, decorating your living room to look like that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or doing some home dental work on your family. 

Jan 10, 2011

Pimp Lamp

The ever evolving and growing Plug-In collection continues to ever evolve and grow. This recent addition of a purple lava lamp had to quickly get shuffled off the plug-in shelf and onto a "Crap Cart" when we discovered it was for real pimps only.

Jan 7, 2011

Seeing Red

Two red manual pencil sharpeners in the same day?
Yes, sir.

Jan 5, 2011


A refreshing relic of one of the most spectacular marketing failures of modern times.

New Coke is the reformulation of Coca-Cola introduced in 1985 by The Coca-Cola Company to replace the original formula of its flagship soft drink, Coca-Cola (also called Coke). Properly speaking, New Coke had no separate name of its own, but was simply known as "the new taste of Coca-Cola" until 1992 when it was renamed Coca-Cola II.
The American public's reaction to the change was poor, and the new cola was a major marketing failure. The subsequent reintroduction of Coke's original formula, re-branded as "Coca-Cola Classic", resulted in a significant gain in sales, leading to speculation that the introduction of the New Coke formula was just a marketing ploy.

And just for fun, I threw in an Arabic Coca-Cola from Turkey.

Jan 1, 2011

New Years Crisis

It is only now occurring to me that there is no real logical way to incorporate the four-digits of the upcoming years into a pair of celebratory glasses. The luxury of two consecutive zeros is now nothing but aught-nostalgia. 

It's gonna be a long century.