Grover

I old, so I come from the era when lunch boxes were made out of embossed metal and you could really do some damage throwing it at your friend's head. Then things got a plastic and lame. So I get a little pang of nostalgia when we get a one of these in...

Nice Sesame Street lunch box from 1973 or so. With thermos!
On the back it looks like Grover is throwing down gang signs in class. What what!

Weed with Roots in Hell

I've been hoarding up a fat stash of drug related donation images for a month-long binge in the near future, but seeing as today is 4.20 and I'm jonesin to give you a hit of the good shit, here is a 1970s repro of a 1920s classic: Marihuana. Still IT Flourishes!!

Weird Orgies? Wild Parties? Unleashed Passions? Thrills? Innocent Girls into Lives of Ruin?
Sign me up!

Bullets 4 Tha Cops

Another case of boxes of live ammo. In a rare moment of responsible thinking, the Junk Store Driver decided we should turn this stash over to the police before tragedy inevitably struck. So we labelled the box "Bullets 4 Tha Cops", stuck it up on the high shelf, and promptly ignored them unto our current date.

I actually think "Bullets 4 Tha Cops" is a great name for a gangsta rap track.

Stink Bombs

I don't know what is more classic... This pack of Stink Bombs, or the fact that I immediately dropped and broke (and therefore "set off") this one in the Sorting Room right after this photo was taken.

RubbaNek

This long-necked styro-head reminds me of something familiar from deep within the Junk Store's past...

Ah yes, the old Alien mannequin head model from back in the day.
Memories.

Boobs

This was just hanging around the Junk Store and looked like it could use a little support.

Gears of Games

Now I've got one Sega Game Gear handheld video game system for the home and another Game Gear for the car. And one of them even has handles built in!
Game Gear cost $150 when it first came out in 1991, and was basically a portable, low-res Sega Master System. Games cost about 25 bucks each.
Now you can get yours from a  shoebox in the Junk Store Toys bin for a Fiver.

The Dagger

Another appropriate donation.

Here Kitty Kitty

Without a doubt the most fucked donation of 2010...

The mummified cat corpse!
This thing is even more gnarly in person than in these photos.
I really don't even know how to comment on something this horrifying/awesome.

President's Day

Perhaps the greatest President's Day promotional tie-in of all time:

This happened in 2010, and I had stashed a whole grip of recently donated "Obamanalia" (Hope pins, Obama chocolate bars, inauguration newspaper clippings) for 2011 Pres Day, but my boss put it all out for Black History month.

The Cyclops

Before there was Hans, before there was Robotron, before there was Nuetron, there was The Cyclops.

Know your one-eyed roots!

Knockoffs: Plastic Rainbow Spring

NOT Slinky, NOT Gold Plated Executive Puzzle, but Plastic Rainbow Spring!
Action Packed Fun.

Well, that's actually all I really have right now for pictures of Junk Store donated Knockoffs. Thought I had more. But now that it's in my mind, I'm practically guaranteed more will arrive imminently.

In the meanwhile, here are some other classics I found linked through Funny or Die...
Also check out the King of Knockoff sights: Knockingoff.com

and my new backpack...

Knockoffs: Super Robots

Super Robots.... NOT Transformers.

Knockoffs & Generics: Spiral Art

Lately I've been taking great pleasure in spotting generic knockoffs of popular products. From those cheapo import toys you find at the flea market to government issued food packaging, few things are brightening my winter quite like a the hilarious names and images of these ripoffs.

In fact, I'm so stoked on this new Junk Pirate category that I've made a new Junk Pirate blog category: knockoffs.

So for a few consecutive days here, let's celebrate low quality imitations of popular products and characters.

Spirograph has been knocked off a lot. Recently we obtained this Taiwanese "Design Ruler". It's about 3 inches tall. 

And let's not forget this:

This may look like an original art product, but don't let the fancy packaging fool you. Any product with the words "Sprial" and "Art" in it is a Spirograph knockoff.

Go-Go Drinking

The authentic Go-Go Girl Drink Mixer, still in the box. With removable bikini for topless Go-Go! There are several videos already up on youtube of this ridiculous novelty in action.

This Job Bites

Good things tend to get donated in tiny paperboard boxes... jewelry bits, shells, beads, stuff made of sterling silver, and even the boxes themselves can fetch up to and including 50¢ each.

But it's not all glitter and gemstones. Some of the freakiest surprise lie within those little boxes. Usually a beetle and bug collection, occasionally forgotten chocolates, and even the rare long lost stash. 

I should have been prepared for it, but I still got a chill opening a fancy bracelet box and finding these:

It's a smorgasbord of human teeth in various states of rot. 

Excellent for voodoo practice, decorating your living room to look like that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or doing some home dental work on your family. 

Mini Wizard

Pimp Lamp

The ever evolving and growing Plug-In collection continues to ever evolve and grow. This recent addition of a purple lava lamp had to quickly get shuffled off the plug-in shelf and onto a "Crap Cart" when we discovered it was for real pimps only.

Seeing Red

Two red manual pencil sharpeners in the same day?
Yes, sir.

Classic

A refreshing relic of one of the most spectacular marketing failures of modern times.

New Coke is the reformulation of Coca-Cola introduced in 1985 by The Coca-Cola Company to replace the original formula of its flagship soft drink, Coca-Cola (also called Coke). Properly speaking, New Coke had no separate name of its own, but was simply known as "the new taste of Coca-Cola" until 1992 when it was renamed Coca-Cola II.
The American public's reaction to the change was poor, and the new cola was a major marketing failure. The subsequent reintroduction of Coke's original formula, re-branded as "Coca-Cola Classic", resulted in a significant gain in sales, leading to speculation that the introduction of the New Coke formula was just a marketing ploy.

And just for fun, I threw in an Arabic Coca-Cola from Turkey.

New Years Crisis

It is only now occurring to me that there is no real logical way to incorporate the four-digits of the upcoming years into a pair of celebratory glasses. The luxury of two consecutive zeros is now nothing but aught-nostalgia. 

It's gonna be a long century.